How one can increase emotional intelligence

If you have had a chance to read on of our articles on the topic of emotional intelligence, you should have already learnt how important it is for the relationship with other people. Even if you have found that your own emotional intelligence is rather low, there are still many possibilities to increase it. That is why this time we are going to provide you with some tips which will help you to develop this essential skill.

What can you do in order to improve your emotional intelligence?

The majority of recommendations for increasing emotional intelligence are based on the observations of your own feelings as well as the feelings of others. Some of the effective exercises you can use any time are described below.

A diary of emotions

First of all, you should understand that many of your problems are the result of not understanding your own emotions. It will be very difficult for you to step in6to the shoes of other people, find out the real reasons for their behaviour and stop judging them if you yourself are confused about your own feelings.

Keeping your diary of emotions will help you a lot with improving this situation.

Set up a timeframe for this experiment. This period of time is totally up to your own choice. It can be a week or a month, just whatever feels comfortable for you.

During this time, right down all the events going on in your life with the corresponding emotions triggered in you. This should include not only some serious situations, for example, a fight with your boss or a data with your significant other. Write down about some simple activities such as awakening in the morning, having your first cup of coffee or a trip to your work.

Examine the physical reactions of your body to various emotions

Needless to say that we feel a range of physical symptoms because of various emotions. While positive events literally give us a boost of positive feelings making us so energised that we can carry on even without sleeping or eating, negative emotions can cause severe stress accompanied by excessive eating, irritable bawl syndrome and many other unpleasant things.

That is why you should learn to pick the changes in your own well-being in different situations. For example, are you angry when you are tired or you are more prone to being apathetic? Do you feel a rage or weakness during stressful situations? These are important issues you should learn about yourself.

Think about the way you are communicating with others under different conditions

Different people tend to react in different ways to various psychological events not only in a physical way. These reactions become especially obvious while you are communicating with other people.

Consider the way you are behaving around other people while you are stressed. Are you eager to shout at everyone trying to spread your negativity on others? How are you behaving when you feel shame? What is your typical reaction to positive events when you are surrounded by other people?
These are only examples of the questions you should find answers to if you want to understand yourself better.

It is really crucial to learn about your own emotions. Once you are able to recognise them and see the connection between particular feelings and events, you will be able to take your emotions under control.

Learn to understand the opinions of other people

Since it is so difficult for people with low emotional intelligence to understand the behaviour of others, these people should put some effort to the analysis of various psychological situations. There are many ways in which you can learn about the emotions of other people.

For instance, you can watch some TV shows presenting debates between people. On the one hand, you can try to imagine yourself as a participant of the debates, stepping into the shoes of the first opponent first, and then imagining yourself as the second opponent. This will help you to see the problem from the both sides which is a very useful skill in the real life. In addition to it, you will have a chance to see some outbursts of negative emotions in some of the participants. Undoubtedly, such behaviour never looks attractive, but people behaving like this rarely understand it. This can be a good lesson for you too.

Another great way to learn more about the feelings and reactions of other people is watching psychological films and reading the books of the thriller or drama genres. Usually, such books focus on the inner world of their characters, so delving into these world can be a valuable experience for you.

Learn to be flexible and open

Ask the people around you about their feelings when they are communicating with you. It might happen that you hear something unpleasant, but don’t be discouraged by it. Fortunately, you are now aware of the ways you can improve your emotional intelligence.

Katie Miller

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